Doing Too Much?
I was so completely convicted the other day by my five-year old. She bought me to tears, then prayer, then to a strong realization.
Allow me to explain….
The morning, in my eyes, was going pretty well. We did school time. I got some items ordered online we were needing and we were starting to knead some homemade bread I was making. All three of them love for me to give them flour and water so they can knead their own.
This is when things went down hill.
Everyone’s hands were covered in thick dough, including mine. Dough was spreading to cabinet handles, chairs, floors, kids hair, you name it. Bellies were starting to growl for lunch time accompanied by lots of whining with nap time lurking around the corner.
My patience was definitely running thin and I’ll admit I was more short than usual and probably seemed aggravated. But not the kind where I thought I was going to lose my mind. (I have been worse)
Once dough and hands were clean, lunch eaten, we all headed upstairs for rest time. I was laying the last one down when my five-year old comes back out of her room. I scolded her to get back in her room and I would be with her in minute.
When I went in she was sitting on her bed with her head down. She then asked, “Are you sick of us?” My heart broke… I said, “No of course not!” She asked, “Then why are you acting this way?” I told her I guessed I was grouchy but no matter how grouchy mommy got that I could never get sick of any of them! So I tucked her in, went in my room, and cried.
God showed me that through all my best intentions of schooling, projects, bread making, and life lessons, none of it mattered. All my little girl wanted was me. Ouch! I thought I was there and was doing all the right things, but in her perspective she couldn’t do anything right. I was taking all of the joy out of the day.
I have learned a huge lesson. I HAVE TO SLOW DOWN. The thought of her thinking that all because I am trying to get to the next task kills me. These precious souls are what matters. Not the home-baked goods, the homeschooling, or long life lessons. It is all about the relationships. When I can take the time to feed her soul with God’s truth and my love and attention that is when true success will take place in our day. So thankful for God stopping me in my tracks, even though it hurt!