Okay so im still very excited about our Classical Conversation practicum and I Am having a great time. On the other hand, I am feeling very overwhelmed. This will be my second year homeschooling and first year tutoring. I’m still just trying to figure the basics out and wrap my head around homeschooling in general.
I was sitting there in the tutor training almost laughing out loud. Why on earth did I feel like God wanted me to do this? At times I feel so incapable. They were using examples through history to show us how to present it and I didn’t even know half of the examples!
As I was sharing all of this with Tim I realized that I am in fact the perfect candidate. God doesn’t use the people who think they have it all together. Nope, he uses the people who feel like they are falling apart and don’t have a lick of sense! If I thought I knew it all then I wouldn’t need God. He causes the humble to rise. My confidence will come from Him if I ask, and it’s much more reliable than my own.
Just typing this our gets me all pumped up and ready:) Tomorrow I have to stand in front of everyone and do a short 3 minute lesson. Yes! The girl who stutters and face turns bright red when she is nervous! This will be interesting…bring it on!
Lately willow has been going through a stage of wanting to grow up. It is all she talks about. Obviously I make it look like a lot of fun:) She says things like, “I can’t wait till I’m a mommy so I can clean and cook and take care of my baby!” As we were walking to the swing set today she said, “No mommy I can’t race you because I’m a grown up.”
I tried to explain to her how wonderful it was to be four years old. She said she knew it was awesome but she wants to be 5,6,7, and 8 sooo bad! She is a lot like me in this way. I can tend to always look ahead in anticipation on what the next phase of life will hold. Hearing her make these comments helps me realize the importance of the here and now.
My struggle is teaching her true contentment while still showing her how wonderful her life will continue to be. Hmm.. I reckon God has thought the same about me. Planning your life is great and all but it is the Lord who directs our steps.
I want her to enjoy every moment. From the late nights of giggles with sweet Zoe, sitting on my lap, swinging on the play set, and playing baby dolls. I want her to know that wherever she is in life is EXACTLY where God wants her and to have peace in that. This reminds me of that Taylor Swift song…Oh Darling Don’t You Ever Grow Up…
The kids and I went to meet with one of our home school groups yesterday at our church, CHSG. The benefits of meeting with them, even for an hour, are immeasurable. In Hebrews 10 the Bible tells us to not give up on meeting with each other to encourage one another. Yesterday, I was able to see why this is so significant.
The wisdom of other experienced women who have been there and done that is from God. They shared many tips, tricks, and talked of many tools to help persevere. Some brought their favorite curriculum so you can actually thumb through the pages to see if it is something your interested in. The user of that curriculum is the perfect person to ask questions about how helpful it is.
Another reason it is so valuable is that you have the chance to be around like minded people. The pressures and oppositions of the world at times can leave you exhausted, but meeting there was like a breath of fresh air. Together with God we can accomplish this great task of educating them according to His will.
The third benefit is resources. Most of the other women know people on the education board for our state as well as more experienced moms. The more resources and info you can gather the more helpful it is when you have those days you feel like your a failure and your kids are gonna turn out dumb:)
My hope is that the kids and I to also gain friendships that will last a lifetime while we are on this crazy journey together. Hopefully one day I can be one of those relaxed mommas telling the other ones to enjoy every minute!
I just can’t say enough wonderful things about it! I am so thrilled by the progress Willow is making. Yesterday she started writing words for the first time by sounding them out. Her first word she wrote by herself was, dog. Earlier that morning she was even doing simple addition! I say all of this not to brag but to shout out to everyone how awesome this is and they can do it too!
The beauty of all this, is she is catching on because she is interested and has that natural love for learning already. The rush I get from watching something, “click,” in her mind is amazing. Public school sucks all the fun and life out.
Zoe is right behind her soaking in everything she hears us talk about. The quality of getting your education from real life and curiosity far surpasses any deadline of test taking. Now if only I can talk everyone I know with kids into doing the same thing. My passion for this grows by the day. I am so thankful the way God spoke to Tim and I to do this.