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Everyone has heard at one time or another that marriage takes work. Just because we have heard it doesn’t mean we always put the effort in.
I think our ideas of work can be construed at times. Sometimes the work is simply being able to keep your mouth closed when we want to tell our husbands the right way to do things:) Work could also mean smiling or simply being a joy to be around. I know I often take these small gestures for granted but they can have a huge impact on your marriage.
God commanded for husbands to love their wives and for wives to respect their husbands. Respecting the man God put in our life is one of the greatest ways we can tend our marriage. When he has our support, he can soar. This is the way God designed it. He created marriage and therefore knew what we would each need.
Once we as women can take a small step back and recognize the role that God has created our men for, then we can start to see them through God’s eyes. We should feel our empowerment in the way we can build up our husbands instead of the false empowerment of trying to compete with them or trying to always be right. This is no contest, but a unity to accomplish God’s purposes.
Our culture tells us women to not only strive for equality with our husbands but to surpass him as the leader in every are of life. I know for many this is a strange concept, but what if we weren’t made to be equal? What if we were made to be below him? To be the foundation, to uphold, to lift up, to be the strong tower. As we are below him we are protected, and covered with power from God to turn our families into the bright lights they should be.
This is a simple list of how we can tend our marriage and show our man the respect he craves.
- Smile at the guy for goodness sakes, maybe even give him a wink!
- Say a simple thank you. Gratitude goes a long way.
- When he comes home ask him about his day without interrupting.
- If he complains about something don’t tell him how he could have done it differently or better.
- Praise him in front of the kids.
- Have him a glass of sweet tea or whatever he drinks when he walks in the door.
- Pray for him and trust God to lead him.
- When he is home let him lead how you spend family time.
- Show affection.
It’s the simple actions that can help our marriages flourish. Any other ideas?
Wednesday was our 9 year anniversary! This was the first one we have spent apart. Tim was at the fire station for 24 hours and I was at our home school convention. I wasn’t too disappointed about that because it was no surprise. I saw on the calender that it was going to work that way…no big deal.
We decided we would celebrate last night. We made reservations at an awesome farm to fork restaurant downtown. I had been thinking about it ALL day. I was so excited to first of all, be with my husband but second, to have some delicious food.
Once we got home from our last day of the home school convention things started going down hill. Ty would not nap. He was exhausted and overly stimulated. I kept thinking, “How am I supposed to get ready for my hot date?” As I’m calming Ty down I get THE TEXT from my husband asking if I can call and push our reservations back because he was going to be late. I was still doing pretty good at his point, still smiling:)
About 20 minutes after that the power goes out. So there we all sat looking out he window (my sister who was babysitting included) watching the hail, wind, and all our bouncy balls roll down the street.
I was still determined I was going to my fancy supper. I went upstairs to get dressed and laid
Tim out the least wrinkled shirt I could find.
Once he finally gets home and gets dressed he gives me, “The look.” I asked him what was wrong he said we probably didn’t need to go with the power being out. Ok, so then came the sulking. I went upstairs all pitiful, cancelled the reservations, put my hair in a ponytail and put on the ugliest pajamas I could find.
I wasn’t too terrible, the pity party lasted about 5 minutes before I came to my senses. Slowly God worked on my heart and I started thinking of all the million reasons it wasn’t meant for us to go out. I KNOW that God had a plan. Can I still smile when it isn’t mine? I didn’t pass the test very gracefully.
God gives so much grace and wants to make us happy. We were able to still sneak away for a quick bite to eat down the street and drop by dairy queen for some ice cream. I’m sure God is sitting up there thinking, “Girl, you don’t know how good you’ve got it!”