One of my many testimonies- My Dad
This is one of the many God-given experiences where He has molded, chiseled, and even cut some things off to teach me lessons I would have never learned any other way. I can now sit here and give God all the glory.
Like most little girls, as far back as I can remember I was my dad’s number 1 fan. No matter the hours he spent at work (which were excessive) when he was home, he belonged to me. He was my laughter and my protector. When dad was home all was right in the world.
As I grew older our relationship didn’t change much. He was respected and loved by my mom, me, and 3 little sisters. When he was home there was always a production of a great supper on the table. He worked hard and played hard. He would think nothing of getting home at 9pm and say, “Get packed were going to the beach!” It drove me crazy as a teenager but looking back the spontaneity was adventurous.
My life as I knew it began to unravel super bowl weekend in the year 2004, six months before my wedding. My dad gave the startling announcement that he was no longer happy and he walked out the door. The shear shock and worry smacked us in the face. The worry was not about us but him. Is he having a nervous breakdown? A midlife crisis? He was leaving what other fathers ld dream about. Leaving a woman whom he married at 18, me (his biggest fan), a beautiful daughter with severe autism, a seven-year old little girl who had at one time had daddy wrapped around her finger, and a precious 3-year-old little girl who would never remember her mom and dad together.
He left to stay down our dirt road with his parents while he, “Figured things out.” During this time our eyes were glued to the windows watching to see if our dad would come home. We soon started noticing a purple truck making its way past our home to my grandparents house quite often.
The Lord has His way of bringing truth to the surface. The purple truck carried a woman who was one of the partakers in tearing my family apart. My Dad and her were having an affair. Rumor has it they were caught by her husband and she was forced to leave. The pressure was then put on my dad to do the same. He came to a complete halt. He had no time to pick fights with my mom or time to make a miserable home life. To make the stab deeper my grandparents knew my dad’s secret and were helping to aid in the secrecy. They provided them a place to stay and support before we ever knew what was going on.
The days and weeks went on in a teary eyed blur. Aching for the life we had and the stab of betrayal and rejection. I can remember my mom and I at the altar in church many times begging God for healing and answers. The healing and answers took place very slowly. To this day we can still relapse into feelings of rejection, but we continue to look back and see what God has pulled us through.
When I look back I remember sweet memories driving home from church with mom tears streaming of God’s grace. I remember countless late night card games spent with family surrounding and protecting us. I remember the day we were forced to move out of my childhood home. We were in the bathroom with my sisters getting ready for the last time. I looked at mom and said, “Are you ready to get out of this hell hole?” perhaps not the most Christian thing to say but it was so needed and so appreciated. She said, “Yeah , Lets do this!”
We held tight to God’s promises as all our security was squished into a tiny apartment. That night we cranked up the song, “I’m moving on” by rascal flats and cried like babies. Though Mom’s heart was breaking she was a pillar of strength. I have seen God do the miraculous in her I would have never seen any other way.
Since those early days there have been many ups and countless downs. One thing I’m certain of without a shadow of a doubt is that God protects His children. His faithful love sustains, pulls us out when needed, and replants us firmly.
This is one of my many testimonies where I have been shown God’s greatness. As of today I have forgiven my dad as well as the other woman whom he is still with today. I have grown to once again love him and appreciate his presence in my life. He has truly tried to make an effort and for that I am very grateful. I do not think it was time or distance that allowed this healing but a supernatural weaving of God to stitch my broken heart.
No, it will never be like it was, but things never are. God moves, pushes, pulls, whatever He has to do to bring you closer. Today I am so thankful or a praying Momma who was used by God to go through difficulties to change the course of future generations.