I Am Not Who I Used To Be

“I am redeemed, you set me free. So I’ll shake off these heavy chains, wipe away every stain. Cause I’m not who I used to be….I am redeemed.”

I sat before the Lord this morning so truly humbled and thankful He chose me. He redeemed me, and set me free. Ask any one. I am not who I used to be. The Lord has been in my heart as a little girl but I have never experienced true freedom until recent years.

I was the girl who rebelled any chance I got. I was the girl who wanted my voice heard above the others. I wanted my time and my space. I wanted my perfect house with perfect salaries to match.  I was the girl who wanted two kids dropped off at school by the bus so I could go do more important things. I was the girl who wanted to climb the clinical ladder as a nurse. I was the girl who thought she deserved Starbucks every morning. I was the girl who held on closely to my money to save. I was the girl who had to go out every one in awhile to drink and party in order remember what my life was like before kids. I was the girl who demanded a date night no matter the cost because I deserved to go out.

But then the Lord pulled me in…He has set me free from legalism, going with the norm, caring what others think, and has shown me the great things His power can do.

He changed me…

He set me free…

I am now the girl that longs to submit to the voice of God. I want to listen and speak only when it will be most effective. I want to give up my time and my perfect house in order to gain more of  Christ. I want as many arrows as the Lord will give us to sharpen then send out into the world. I am the girl who wants to walk by my children to teach them diligently the love of God. I don’t deserve Starbucks or any other luxury this world has to offer. I am the girl who is desperately praying for God to help me let go of the money He has given. I am the girl who doesn’t want to go back to life before husband and kids. I am not who I used to be.

Never in my life have I gone to bed more exhausted, yet so full of joy. He took away the heavy chains this world tried to bind me in. He wiped away every stain of my past.

He is waiting to do the same for you. There is no other way to truly live than to lose it.