My Default

It’s a struggle. Every day I would fight. Fight against my God given default.

I would look in admiration at what I felt was the typical organized home school momma. I did everything I could to mimic her. I thought her actions were superior and thus would be my keys to success. She had the beautiful planner completely filled out with every child’s home school lesson, appointments, cleaning schedule, and date night. Meanwhile, I’m over hear drowning in sticky notes on top of my expensive planner with papers coming out of the side. Her plans are etched in pen all the same color or perhaps even color coded, best off all, she always knows where her pen is. She isn’t like me. She doesn’t go looking for it when it is stuck in her hair. I’m sure hers always has ink too.

Her home school day is filled with 30 minute increments of crafts and academic success. Not one subject is missed. On the other hand you have me… “Let’s read a chapter out of one of our favorites….Hmm let me scrub that toilet real quick…Hey! Who wants to go outside?…Let’s read some history…Let me throw that load of laundry in…Oh yes! Who wants to make some cookies?”  Sigh, I’m all over the place.

This successful woman rises to her alarm clock before the rest of her family. She drinks her water, exercises, reads the Bible, and glances at her planner of what her day will entail. I however have the same plan in my head, but more than likely you will find me with coffee in hand sitting on the porch with my other early risers.

I’ve been called it all. The girl who flies by the seat of her pants, too laid back, disorganized, type B, you name it. I have fought against all of this with every ounce of my being ever since I started having children, but have only walked away in frustration.

It has been a process, but I am slowly starting to let it go. I believe that God knew each one of my children needed a hippy momma who couldn’t follow a schedule to save her life. He knew I needed them and each of their quirky personalities. We are no surprise to Him. We are what you would call tailor-made for each other, a perfect fit.

I have started to embrace the way God made me. Since I have begun to this we have continued to grow in peace in our home. I am letting go of the guilt and lingering on the porch a bit longer. I am convinced that my craziness will produce well rounded, go with the flow kind of kids:)

How about you? What is your God given default button? What traits and talents do you naturally bring to your family?

Give it a try, don’t fight it, and see what happens. Ask God to sharpen what He has already given you and to help you to see all the ways you benefit your family!