I’m sure most could tell that from my post on Monday that I have been having a bit of a hard time lately. From hearing about a precious babies’ passing, a miscarriage from a friend, and the passing of a beautiful Godly woman. I have been in the dumps and just not feeling like myself. I was so disgusted and aggravated at how one day I can be on fire for the Lord and the next day feel like I’ve fallen so short. Through this small brief period in my life I have realized that I will always fall short, He never will. I succeed when I get back up and grab God’s hand.

Me and my husbands new motto is, “Less is more and I don’t care!” I’m sure that sounds funny, but over the past couple weeks we have realized that we are doing too much and holding on to too much. I heard an awesome saying in Bible study the other day. BUSY stand for Being Under Satan’s Yolk. How true is this? I’m so thankful for a time of revaluation. The I don’t care part of the motto is not only about not caring what others think, but about taking the pressure off ourselves. Ever since the beginning of the summer my husband and I have had numerous serious talks that stemmed from the time we put our house on the market, but not near enough laughs. Don’t get me wrong, we have sill being enjoying life, but we have had burdens on our back making sure every step we take is the right one and over analyzing everything. We made an agreement last night that we will make no more plans. If we want to build our kids a tree house we aren’t going to ponder about…well how long will we be in the this house to make it worth our efforts. Heck no! The kids would love it, we will have fun building, so daggonit we are gonna do it!

I think as Christians, rather we want to believe it or not we can be legalistic in our thinking. Our burdens become heavy, when in fact the burdens of the Lord are light with freedom attached. For instance there is nowhere in the Bible that says I have to make fresh bread every week, my kids can’t watch cartoons, I have to wake up at the crack of dawn, or even that my blog post have to be posted by 8:00am. These are pressures we put on ourselves for no good reason. Today I decided to slowly retrain myself to let go of the expectations and legalistic thoughts. He has already bought me at a very high price, no matter what awesome things I do today I can’t make Him love me any more or less.

As part of my training I slept in. I pulled every baby in bed with me and snuggled. I didn’t worry about my precious coffee, homeschooling, or the fact that my blog post was not yet written. When we ventured downstairs I made pancakes for My Zoe Bell without feeling the need to make double batches to save for later… nope just made them for breakfast right here and right now:)

While I made breakfast the cartoons came on! They even had my husband intrigued:)

I’m thinking that school today will consist of books and Candyland. These simple changes have already made a world of difference in me, my husband, the kids, and our home. God gives what you need just when you need it, even if it is to just ENJOY. Has God been revealing anything to you lately?

Ya’ll I’m not lying when I tell ya that ever since I wrote my post about perspective last week the devil has been on me, and I have had a very hard time having a thankful heart. Its been a great, but challenging week. At times it just feels like death, sickness, and disappointment are lurking around every corner and it can hard to be thankful when you are anxious about what could go wrong. I have learned this week that I want to drink  up every bit of this life till the last drop. I want no regrets. Not the bungee jumping kind of stuff but the quality purposeful time stuff. This very moment my heart has been absolutely torn up over a mother I know who’s son we are praying for a miracle to save his life. With all of these injustices of the world on top of  the normal stressers of life it is hard to always find contentment in the Lord.

I have also been having issues with feeling overwhelmed about staying on top of all my responsibilities. There is the budgeting, meal planning, homeschooling, cleaning, Bible studies, meeting the needs of family members, and returning phone calls that have had been so bogged down this week. In fact, just the other day I was so annoyed with myself that I thought about putting a post on Facebook to let every one know what a big fat phony I am and how I can’t even take heed to my own advice about keeping my perspective with God where it needs to be. I am the kind of person that when I feel there is a problem standing in my way, I just want to fix it… NOW. I have seriously contemplated selling everything we have got, buy a big camper on a piece of land, and start over. I fear I may be trying to run from problems at times, but when I think about my reasons maybe its just a realistic solution that I am crazy enough to take.

Please forgive me as I rant about my issues, but just maybe someone else needs to here about my problems:) So hear are my issues and how I want to eliminate them.

1)I am tripping over clutter and stuff all day long rather it be from my kids, my husband, but most of the time myself. I feel that I spend way too much energy just keeping up. I’m loosing those precious moments to minister to my children, family, and friends. Even a phone call I’m returning can turn into a big deal. My thought process automatically thinks DOWNSIZE! With less rooms = less mess. Out of necessity you have to get rid of clutter and only have your essentials. Imagine your children only having the toys that they actually play with at their disposal. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? The time I spend cleaning messes all day could be used for reading to the kids, doing all the darn crafts they love, or simply doing something, anything with them without multitasking 10 other things.

2) debt, debt, debt… We currently only own on our mortgage, but let me tell ya that it drives me crazy! I hate it! We are working diligently to pay it of as soon as possible, but most of the time I feel that it isn’t good enough. My solution, DOWNSIZE. I don’t want to waste another year of my husband working his but off to pay for a place for us to live. If we are going to work then let it be for the good of others or even our children’s future. I would rather invest in the time in them having their daddy home and invest in the lives of others who aren’t as fortunate rather that be financially or with time. We are called to help. How can we if we are to busy working to pay the mortgage off?  Sometimes I try to tell myself to relax but there has to be a reason why it is so passionate in my heart.

3)Disciplining the kids. It can be very frustrating to be upstairs and hear your children fighting down stairs. Another awesome solution is to DOWNSIZE. Sure it would be tough to not have as much space but what would it be like to be able to discipline and train right along side of them all of the time.

Perhaps I am naive but it seems that the problem is our attitude to have more stuff, and in the meanwhile our discontent grows and our distractions and to do list double. Yes, I am thankful for a nice home, 4 bedrooms, my husband’s job and work ethic, and every toy and kitchen gadget you could imagine. I am also thankful for clear vision of the order in which priorities belong. I don’t want anything to hinder me from experiencing God’s blessings and giving them to others. My mind has been cluttered and I’m ready for the challenge to be different and prioritize my life.

…Fast Forward….

okay…fast forward a few hours when I typed out the beginning of this post. I have talked with my husband who settled this crazy girl down. Ya know, to be a relaxed and go with the flow kind of girl I can get wound up at times pretty easily:) I was tempted to delete all I had written, but thought some my appreciate a look in to my heart. (Even though as I my fingers were typing my blood pressure was through the roof!) Tim reminded me that no matter how good my intentions are, God still has His own agenda that I play a part in. After all like I’ve said before, it’s not about the circumstance but…sigh… my perspective. God, keep working on this poor girl!

Sharing this with: The Prairie Homestead,  A Mama’s story, Raising Arrows, The better Mom, The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, Far Above Rubies, Growing Home, Heavenly Homemakers, Time Warp Wife, Thankful Homemaker, Mamal Diane, Teaching What is Good,  A cat like curiosity, Mom’s the word, conerstone cofessions, A proverbs 31 wife, Some of the best things in life are mistakes, Let this mind be in you, A Wise Woman Builds her home, CSAHM Parenting Linkup, Deep Roots at Home, Graced Simplicity, Raising Homemakers, Women Living Well, Hope in Every Season, Jill’s Home remedies, Little Natural Cottage, Our simple country Life, Raising Mighty Arrows, The Purposeful Mom, Consider the Lillies, Happy and Blessed Home, Homemaker by Choice, Your Thriving Family, My Joy Filled Life. New Life Steward, Hometead simple, Christian Mommy Blogger, Let this Mind Be in You, Heart Reflected

I have had numerous people ask me lately, “How do you do it all? You’ve got three small children with one on the way, write a blog, home school, and still find time to bake! ” The first secret is I don’t do it all! Not even close. In fact, I have felt anxiety rise a bit as we are reorganizing and moving the kid’s bedrooms upstairs. Things are messy, crazy, and basically there is just crap everywhere. I was then reminded for the millionth time by God that, yes this mess needs to be cleaned, but not all at once and not over the priority of my family or over my health by stressing.

The Lord is slowly healing that broken perfectionist bone in my body. I have come to the point in my life that I have realized it all wont ever be done or caught up. There will always be a mess to clean, a nose or butt to wipe, or a pile of laundry along with stacks of dirty dishes.

My second secret that I have recently started doing is I pray for God to prioritize my day for me before I start anything. I pray for Him to give me the time, energy, and patience to accomplish what His will for me and the kids is that day. I have found that when I pray that way, He has miraculously multiplied my time. I don’t go to bed at the end of the night thinking,”Ugh I didn’t get anything accomplished today!” Instead I feel empowered that I managed my home and children well. What God saw was important got accomplished through His strength in me. As our family continues to grow my list of responsibilities and messes will follow. But I do know that whatever He has entrusted me with, He gives His amazing grace to not only get the job set before us done, but to do it well.

So here it is ladies,  my biggest and most important secret…It is not about me, but about Him, without Him I can’t do anything, with Him I CAN do it all that He has called me to do.

Do you ever have those times where you hear someone say a word or phrase, then you read about it, or it keeps being said over and over in a million different places? I’ve always felt that when that happens, it’s for a reason and it’s something I need to take in and focus on. Evidently, God has been wanting me to focus on the word perspective this entire week. Perspective is defined as your attitude toward something. I am seeing over and over again that your perspective can make a break you as well as those around you.

My thoughts started encircling the word perspective while I was reading a book I just got. Its Called Three Decades of Fertility and it’s about motherhood with all of the challenges and blessings it entails. There are 10 chapters in the book with each one having the testimony of different women. I have read 4 so far. Out of everything in this book, the thing that sticks out the most is these women’s perspective on life. Every single woman had good things in their life as well as bad. They shared it all from miscarriages to babies surviving with beautiful stories. Another commonality they all shared was that at some point (or many points) they felt as though they couldn’t handle the pressure of raising children. The financial, emotional, and physical demands were more than they could bear. They felt God was leading them to have more children but didn’t think they were capable. They went through depressions, misery, and self-pity. Once these women hit rock bottom they called out to Jesus whom had been there just waiting. They asked for restoration and change in perspective. Once they did, there circumstances didn’t change, instead it was their joy and attitude about life. I’m seeing over and over that our circumstances will fail us constantly, but its our perspective through God’s eyes that never disappoints and helps us to roll with the punches of this life.

Another eye opener for me was the death of a friend of mine named Sherry that was in my Bible study class for the past two years. She has been fighting against an aggressive brain tumor to keep her life and be on this earth for her husband and two small children. I have been receiving email alerts from her caring bridge site of her progress in between Bible study sessions. Let me just say that her and her husband Jeff have an eternal perspective that is absolutely amazing and encouraging, and honestly those two words don’t even describe it. It’s easy to see in the emails that her husband has sent out recently just how intimate they know Jesus. God has encompassed them and surrounded them in a way that is breathtaking. From His perspective, Sherry was healed yesterday morning when she stepped into eternity which has been their prayer from the day one of her diagnosis. God Whispered once again to me, “Your thoughts are not my thoughts.” When I ask Him for wisdom and to see things through His eyes He delivers it and it can change your life.

God has worked miracles on Tim and I the past few years. This does not mean that we are never in the dumps or have terrible days. Heck, I had a terrible time with my two of my patients at the hospital the last time I worked and I’m sure there were some curse words said under my breath.  But… He redeems, renews, and forgives. I know where my strength comes from, straight from the Holy Spirit. The minute I forget to call on His name my attitude and perspective are drawn on myself, and I am such an imperfect failure. Who wouldn’t get in a bad mood looking at that? But when I shift my eyes toward God and eternity, life has new meaning. I’m able to keep walking in joy, confidence, and love and hopefully grab hands to come along the way.

Sharing this with: The Prairie Homestead,  A Mama’s story, Raising Arrows, The better Mom, The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, Far Above Rubies, Growing Home, Heavenly Homemakers, Time Warp Wife, Thankful Homemaker, Mamal Diane, Teaching What is Good,  A cat like curiosity, Mom’s the word, conerstone cofessions, A proverbs 31 wife, Some of the best things in life are mistakes, Let this mind be in you, A Wise Woman Builds her home, CSAHM Parenting Linkup, Deep Roots at Home, Graced Simplicity, Raising Homemakers, Women Living Well, Hope in Every Season, Jill’s Home remedies, Little Natural Cottage, Our simple country Life, Raising Mighty Arrows, The Purposeful Mom, Consider the Lillies, Happy and Blessed Home, Homemaker by Choice, Your Thriving Family, My Joy Filled Life. New Life Steward, Hometead simple, Christian Mommy Blogger, Let this Mind Be in You, Heart Reflected

When I listen to my mom talk of the horror stories of drama that my sisters put up with in their middle school and high school careers, it literally makes me feel nauseous. I too have been there and can remember it so vividly. From the gossip, back stabbing, and tears they are not all fun times to recollect. As I did my usual pondering while the kids were out playing I was thinking and hoping that maybe since my children will be home schooled they won’t face the kind of stuff I did, or what my sisters are having to go through right now. Then it dawned on me… I am no longer in school, I am a grown woman with a family of my own, and I do not see my peers on a regular basis; yet I still face judgements and ridicule on a daily basis. I remember my mom telling me that adulthood was a lot like a grown up middle school. The only difference today is that my peers and my school are no longer my world. I now have my own priorities and things to keep my mind off all of the people in this world who’s only agenda is to bring you down. In reality this really doesn’t stop the fact of wanting to be liked by others and be everyone’s friend. I suppose as you get older you realize how impossible that is, but it’s only human nature to still have the yearning.

Being a conservative Christian woman can be tough in today’s world. There is a pendulum that swings far from one side to the other as far as extremes go. The truth is, we can all only speak for our own convictions the Holy Spirit places on us. As long as they line up with God’s word then I feel we need to just leave people alone unless we are going to pray for them or encourage them. An example of this is that some Christians believe alcohol should never touch your lips. If this is their conviction, then I pray that they hold fast to that and trust God. Me on the other hand, I love wine. Honestly, I’ve never felt convicted about this. Drinking it til I’m drunk is an entirely different thing that I have no part in as it is sin. If you are a Christian and get drunk every Friday night it is in no way my place to judge you. In God’s eyes, my judgment is no different from the person getting sloppy drunk, in fact He hates it. He wants to see His people waiting with open arms when a fellow believer falls.

I have felt ridicule for the amount of children I have or am going to have, for homeschooling, or for simply being a goody-goody. Honestly whenever I feel a conviction from God about something new instead of obeying the first time like I teach my children to do, I admittedly first think, “Oh gosh what’s so and so gonna think about this? They will for sure think I’m crazy now!” I’m just wanting to shout it out through the words on this blog that I am praying for boldness, to follow hard after God no matter the judgements or ridicule that will follow. I’m praying to be quick to give answers from the Holy Spirit when I am questioned with my convictions. No, not in an ugly way, but the tender to way that God desires in hopes to shed a small light on an issue and have someone think differently about a situation. I’m praying to live a life worth living. I don’t have to be loud and boisterous, but I can certainly live the life God has given me walking in His grace for others to see. That in itself is the most powerful witness to others.

My advice for my sisters is to live the life worth living, approval from the world will NEVER come when you belong to GOD, but it’s ok. His grace and mercy covers all, reveals all, and loves all. You are precious to the ONE that matters.

My beautiful sister Emma on her 13th birthday.    My other beautiful sister Lily working hard at Chick fil a:)

One of my life long friends from middle school whom holds no judgements and loves me as I am.

Sharing this with: The Prairie Homestead,  A Mama’s story, Raising Arrows, The better Mom, The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, Far Above Rubies, Growing Home, Heavenly Homemakers, Time Warp Wife, Thankful Homemaker, Mamal Diane, Teaching What is Good,  A cat like curiosity, Mom’s the word, conerstone cofessions, A proverbs 31 wife, Some of the best things in life are mistakes, Let this mind be in you, A Wise Woman Builds her home, CSAHM Parenting Linkup, Deep Roots at Home, Graced Simplicity, Raising Homemakers, Women Living Well, Hope in Every Season, Jill’s Home remedies, Little Natural Cottage, Our simple country Life, Raising Mighty Arrows, The Purposeful Mom, Consider the Lillies, Happy and Blessed Home, Homemaker by Choice, Your Thriving Family, My Joy Filled Life. New Life Steward, Hometead simple, Christian Mommy Blogger, Let this Mind Be in You, Heart Reflected