This was the exact birth I was praying for. Though she is almost 11 months old as I write this and reminisce on the day, it all seems very fresh. I remember telling many people how wonderful it would be if I was able to wake up with contractions after a full nights sleep, hang out all day with my family, then have a baby in my arms that night. That is exactly what happened!

I woke up between 3-4 am feeling those all to familiar tightenings. The thoughts start swirling. “Is today the day? What a perfect day it would be!!!” Then the doubt. “This baby is probably going to stay another week! DO NOT get excited!” I tried my best to just rest but the excitement took over. I got out of bed around 5 to see if walking around would slow them down. Nope, they stayed the same. I decided to wake up Tim. I remember whispering…”Hey, I think this may be the day.” He jumped up pretty quick.

It was perfect really, we were able to sip on our coffee, talking about what the day was going to hold, time out contractions, and have about an hour of peace before the other babes woke up. My contractions remained 15 minutes apart and only lasted 30-45 seconds. They were good and strong though. Up until this point I had been having SEVERAL contractions every day, so even though they were far apart they were very consistent no matter what I did.

The day continued to unfold like a dream. It was like Mother’s day. As each child woke up we got to tell them that they may have a baby sister by the end of the day. There is nothing like delivering that message!

We put a call into my midwife and she told me to eat a big breakfast and take a bath and see how things progress. I learned from my last long labor to eat, drink, and get a lot of rest!!! I wanted to let my body do what it knew how to do and not get in my own way. So I did exactly what she instructed, and they kept coming every 15 minutes like clock work.

As  the day went on we did all of those family things I love to do. We went on a walk, played in the back yard, sat out on the deck, and just enjoyed one another’s company. Every time I would stop for a contraction one of the kids would come and hold my hand or scratch my back. Once lunch was over they grew to about 10 minutes apart, lasted about 45 seconds, and I was really having to concentrate through them to keep my body relaxed. Though the day was great, I was beginning to fear that this pattern may continue through out the night. As their intensity grew, the more and more tired I was becoming.

We text my midwife and she asked what time we were eating dinner and if my kids were going to be leaving. Turns out my mom had offered to buy us some dinner and take the kids back with her for a sleep over just in case that night was the night. She said she would come by after they had left  just to check on me and the baby. I took comfort in that, but also hated the thoughts of her wasting her time driving over here. I remember her saying,”I bet things will pick up when the kids leave, I’ll be there around 9.”

I remember sitting at the dinner table with my mom and Tim trying to eat my dinner. I could only eat a bite or two. The contractions were still only every 10 minutes, but they were very intense. After getting a few more bites down I helped get everyone’s bags ready for their sleepover and kissed them all goodbye. I told them they may have a baby sister when they get back home! That was about 8pm.

The moment they walked out the door I walked upstairs to get some cleaning done. (Isn’t that what most mothers do when there little ones leave?) By the time my feet hit the top step a huge contractions came. I made my way over to my birthing ball sitting on top of my bed and I just laid over it trying with everything I could to relax. I closed my eyes and I don’t think I opened them back up until she was born! There was no more timing the contractions. No more doubt in my mind that this baby was on the way tonight. The only movement I did was bring the ball to the floor where I continued working with my labor, eyes shut, breathing and laying over it.

My midwife showed up about 9pm. She looked at me, looked at my husband and said, “Has she been like THIS all day?!” He said it was right when the kids left. I’ll never forget this but she said, “Cool! We are having a baby soon!” I can’t tell you that relief that washed over me!!

About 9:45 my second midwife came. It was so great to see their familiar faces! Never before have I felt so taken care of then when I am laboring a baby with my husband and these ladies. I felt safe, empowered , and yet capable of the surrender that must happen when bringing life into the world. There are no cervical checks, no mandatory positions, no right or wrong way for me to do anything. Only doppler checks to listen to that sweet heart beat, and a straw they put in my mouth to encourage hydration.

I started to feel the temperature in the room increase and I knew we were getting close. ( They turn the thermostat up high before the baby is born so it will be nice and toasty.)

I started to feel the urge to push around 11:15. Y’all this is HARD WORK! I remember saying things like “AHH! This hurts so baaaaad!” and things like “I’m never doing this AGAIIINNNNN!!!!” All I kept hearing was “Your doing amazing work, your doing so well, not much longer…” And the sweet whispers from my husband telling me how proud he was of me and how we were about to have our baby in our arms.

At 11:45 that sweet little girl came into my arms. Hazel Mallory Styron The relief, the surge of hormones that make you feel like super woman puts you on a high like no other. The look into that baby’s face is unimaginable bliss. She was beautiful, she was perfect, she was worth every minute.

We got in bed, she nursed, we laughed, we took pictures, we studied this new addition to our family. It was simple and beautiful.

They  got a bath ready for me and Hazel filled with herbs meant for healing. It smelled amazing. I held her in my arms in the bath while she continued to nurse and I relaxed all of the soar muscles in my body. It was heavenly.

After out soak we climbed back in bed with my husband and I got to watch the fun part. The newborn check. We finally got the weight and measurements for the family poll!

The birth fairies… aka midwives cleaned up the room, made me food, and tucked us in for the night. We face timed our oldest daughter Willow! She was so excited and had been wide awake the entire time! That was a really sweet moment.

That was our story. The story of how simple birth can be, yet an absolutely miraculous miracle all out the same time.

I used to not always advocate for home birth. In fact 3 of mine were born in the hospital with a lot of interventions, with two at home. Just like most things, education is key. Once your educated it is hard to deny it. Once you’ve experienced it, it will change your life.

Welcome to the world sweet Hazel!

This week is it. It’s the climax, the top of the roller coaster as we coast down hands high feeling the rush of Christmas blow through our hair. The fruits of our labor come to fruition. The gifts get torn open, the new recipes get tasted, the Christmas pajamas get worn, Luke 2 is read, Christmas carols are sung. It’s all a building up, and a preparation to celebrate with every ounce we’ve got. It’s a lovely picture to soak up. I fully intend on breathing it all in and savoring every morsel of the sweetness.

Read the rest over at Raising Homemakers…

Have you ever sat face to face with a divinely appointed, God directed conviction? It’s a love hate relationship to feel the Lord’s pruning. Though sometimes painful, you know your being formed into His image and reminded of His truths.

Allow me to give you some back story. I am passionate and driven girl. I love to write beautiful words, it comes so easily. I love using the creative side of my brain where my heart overflows. In fact, I get kind of cranky when I can’t get out the creative things on my heart.

It’s all good Jesus stuff I want to do…really.

Read the rest over at Raising Homemakers today!

I have felt it. Felt the pressure hovering all around me as I attempt to wade through the waters of homeschooling the little ones entrusted to me. We all dream the dreams of raising inventors, world changers, and influential leaders. As mothers, the dreams lie within us all.

So we set to work...

Read the rest over at A Mamas Story!

Alright y’all. Don’t laugh too hard at me here but let me know what you think of my idea:)
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I am giving up on this dreamy fairy tale we call motherhood. This entire year I have been pushing on every side to fit us into this pretty wrapped box complete with a handmade bow with time for coffee afterwards.

It. Has. Been. Exhausting.

I am throwing in the towel, I can’t do it. Done, done, and done.

Let me reveal the messiness of true motherhood. There are no beautiful morning rituals with coffee and Bible. There are no guaranteed glorious nap times. There aren’t always children playing and laughing together. Most days school time isn’t filled with nature walks and read alouds on the porch. Most nights it’s not over just because it’s bedtime. Schedule, what schedule?

The thing is, I’m giving up in order to gain.

There are far too many uncontrollable factors. What I give up selfish perfectionism I gain in beautiful perspective. Really, its refreshing and straight from a good God who desires me to experience joy in doing His work.

This is my life.

Unpredictable, busy, chaotic, full, beautiful, messy, sweetly simple, lovely, and everything I could have ever dreamed of.

Ladies, it’s time to give it up.