Against the Grain (Feminism)



I am fully prepared for some backlash on this post. My only request is that you read it with an open mind and consider alternatives to what has been put in our face on a daily basis.


What if we as a society of women became truly submissive to our husband and families? We know that this is what the Bible says and God only wants what is best for us. Is it true that we can really be happier and get something out of this too besides our husbands and families?


Over my yeas of marriage and having children I have become more and more passionate about the subject of our roles as women. I have found that the more I try to mimic how a woman in the Bible is supposed to act that is when I have been most happiest and fulfilled. The idea of submissiveness goes completely against society. I have seen the benefit from it and that makes me want to share with others this radical viewpoint in hopes someone else can feel the same peace and fulfillment as their role of a woman the way God intended it.


The definition of submission is to unresistingly and humbly serve others. For me the key word is unresistingly. How often do we here of women today who are resisting the type of label such as the cook, the cleaner, homemaker, or the one who takes care of the kids etc… We resist because we deem it unimportant. The opposite is true. It’s not only about submitting to our families but to our God-given roles and not resisting. No wonder there are so many unhappy women today. Any one who is in a constant state of resistance is bound to feel frustrated.


Let’s take a look at submission as a woman for her family in action. She is a nurturer, caregiver, and the rock where her family can find rest. When she is in her role (if married to a Christian God-fearing man) he will treat her above all others because of how well he and his children have been taking care of. Ladies, that is what is in it for us. We give and empty ourselves out on a daily basis only to be refilled by a well taken care of husband, children, and therefore we all glorify God. A submissive woman is NOT a doormat. She is strong and takes care of her household in ways no-one else can. Is it always easy? Nope, but that is what keeps us calling on the name of the Lord.


Lets take a look at the typical woman today. She is out working outside of the home. She and her husband share an equal partnership of household chores, cooking, and taking care of the children. This can seem all fine and dandy but what if the other isn’t taking up their end? It’s usually not the people at work that suffer, it’s family life that suffers. That is exactly where satan wants us. Before my husband and I had children this was the way we were. I thought at the time that it worked perfectly and that it was the way marriage should be. Looking back it seems there was always something that wasn’t being done or taken care of assuming the other one was going to do it. There was confusion. God isn’t a God of confusion. He is a God of order and efficiency.


There should be eyes on the home front at all times protecting it. Homes are being shattered all around us and I strongly believe it is because we have lost the art as woman of making it a priority. Let’s get back to what true feminism really is. Not the kind where we burn our bras, but we burn the mentality that there is any job more important than building up our homes.


I want to be the backbone, the pillar, and the soft place to land. Yes, I want to be the cook, the cleaner, and the teacher. I want to be that hug, that smile, and the eyes that says everything is ok. I want to be the protector standing with guns loaded against the wiles of the devil that seeks to destroy my family. I want to be the hands, the heart, and the confidence of Christ.


Who is with me? Let’s start a new feminist movement! Subscribe and share!


Here are my other Going Against The Grain Series:

Going Against The Grain (Birth Control)

Going Against The Grain (Industrialized Food)

Going Against The Grain (Debt)


Photo credit Pixabay





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18 Responses to Against the Grain (Feminism)

  • katrina says:

    I totally agree! I love being the one to take care of who and what God has given me. They love me more for it. WE have a more peaceful home, and happier hearts with each other because I have given them my all. It has been really hard to give up a career, but I’m seeing the fruit of my labor when I see them smiling at me and each other each day with genuine love and joy. We get along well and I know my kids. I love my role and I don’t want someone else filling it.

  • Great thoughts!
    There’s nowhere I’d rather be than caring for my family in my home. We believe this is how we can best serve God in this current season.

  • Shelly says:

    Absolutely agree 100% I have been on both sides of the fence, and no job has ever made me feel as fulfilled as being a wife and mother. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, and, frankly, kids need their moms at home.

  • Nancy Duffer says:

    Hi Brittany, loved your views on submission. You are exactly right on all points that you made. I believe that God will indeed bless our efforts in creating a warm loving home that is a place of refuge after a long work/school day. I know that if we put God and our family first above all else will work out for the best..

  • EJ says:

    Great post! I’m with ya! I actually went from working full time to part time when we were married but before children. I knew I wanted to stay home with children if God blessed us with them and I felt like I wasn’t able to take care of anything on top of my job. I know people thought I was lazy or spoiled but it was great for our marriage! I was able to take care of the house, make dinner (we ate out all of the time when we were both working full time), and not be too tired to give my husband attention. When I did get pregnant the transition wasn’t as drastic and I was able to rest during my pregnancy! I think what you shared is fantastic! It’s all about perspective and changing views to see this as positive! There is such a negative undertone that goes along with “submissive”. Thank you for sharing this role in a positive light!

    • Brittany says:

      I think it’s awesome that you you and your husband agreed on that before having children. It’s obvious he values that as well and sees how important it is! Thanks for commenting friend:)

  • Kyle says:

    I agree. It is funny. When I got married my mother in law said to remember to keep everything 50/50. But when I learned how she lived it was actually a really weird mix of feminist ideals and traditional. She worked out side the home but STILL did all of the cooking, cleaning and child rearing. All her husband did around the house was mow the yard once a week, LOL.!!! No thank you! I would rather get to work at home and be with my babies! Not do BOTH! I realized that many women in he 60s and 70s lived the exact same way, including my own mother! How sad!

  • Stacy says:

    I couldn’t agree more. I worked (teacher) before and during that time I was an awful person. Trying to work 6am-3pm and then come home to children (my own) was very hard. I felt like I was with other peoples children more than my own. I was a mess. I am much happier in my own home everyday teaching my own children. The pay is not there, the benefits are not there, but the joy is there. Love your writings! Keep them coming.

  • Gentle Joy says:

    This is a wonderful post……so many times, women trying to be Biblically following the Lord, are treated with scorn and contempt by the world….and even by other Christians. Thank you for this post.

  • Cyndi Allen says:

    Thank you! What my husband and I have been teaching for yeeeeeeears. And men must be leaders at the same time 🙂

  • Theresa says:

    Great post. Sadly, I work with many Christian women who have husbands who would never go for them not working. And these are Christian men.That would be a very difficult thing to deal with. I am blessed to be married to a man who sees the importance of me being home.

  • Jamie says:

    I agree with you, but it also took me a lot of years of staying home before I felt like it was “enough.”

  • I love this Brittany. My husband and I have slowly evolved our marriage into one where I am more submissive and he is the leader and I have never been happier. I love the idea of this feminist movement! 😉

  • beth says:

    I love being a traditional, feminine woman! It gives me a great sense of pride and accomplishment to teach the children, give them and my husband a clean, organised home to live in, and home-made food in their bellies every day. God created us to be a help-meet and a keeper at home, and if we can just accept that fact, then that is when we can be truly happy in our role as wife and mother.
    Thank you for this post.

  • Claudine says:

    Thank you Brittany for this wonderful post. I was blessed with a child last year after 8 years of marriage. My husband and I had discussed the importance of Mom’s being home prior to my pregnancy, buy now my son is 8 months old and I have been working for 3 months full time and it’s heart wrenching. My husband is worried about losing my income and we are in the process of downsizing so that I will be able to stay home, or work part time. I have told my husband before that God always provides and that we need to do what He asks of us. I continue to pray and give this all to God and hope that my husband will allow for me to stay home and take care of him, my son and my home the way it should be. It is so very difficult to wear all the hats I have to wear and mostly, knowing that some other young woman is spending all day with my son. I am missing so much with him, and it’s so very difficult to stay focused at work. Currently, I am employed at a large corporate company and the women I work with are all career oriented, so this blog would be complete nonsense to them. For all the women out there who feel “less of a woman” because you are a stay at home mom, or for the woman who think you need a career on top of your wife/mother role—you have no idea how blessed you are to be able to focus all of your energies on your husband, children and home….and let’s not forget time with God! Full time working moms like myself give our best to our jobs, our families unfortunately receive what is left over. I pray for all the working moms who desire is to be in the role that God created for us.

  • Chelsea says:

    Hi Brittany!

    I found your site through the barn hop at prairie homestead. This is actually like my fifth time visiting your blog and it’s been a blessing every time. First time commenting however (realistically, it’s one of my first times commenting on blogs, period… Can’t learn while I’m talking, right?… But I digress…)

    I too am a full time SAHM as of the last three years (quit the other job after my eldest was diagnosed with autism). This post really spoke to me… Almost as if you recorded a former monologue of mine, and typed it out, after hours upon grueling hours of much-needed polishing, of course 🙂 I might also like to add here, that the reason why many moms are out of the home is due to financial reasons, after all, who has the luxury of a single-income household these days, right? But when you look at the big picture, if the married mothers in this country returned to the household, a miracle would happen: the “supply” end of the workforce would be much more limited and our husbands jobs would be worth much more money, and then two-income households would no longer be a necessity. I truly believe that the feminist movement was a propagandistic push in order to dilute the workforce and move us closer to dependency (as opposed to self-sufficiency). It also had the effect of greatly empowering the Dept. of “Education” now that the moms were no longer able to teach their own children. If you’ll recall, public schools were originally formed solely to be an alternative to REAL schooling, which at one point in time occurred in the home. Not to mention, Big Agra also benefitted from more women in the workforce since households could no longer easily grow and prepare their own foods… Which in turn served to also benefit Big Pharma since our Western diet and way of life lands us in the doctors office on a regular basis. In fact, seems as though just about everyone benefits from this new “empowerment” of women in the workforce… Except of course we ourselves, and the men and children that have been entrusted to us by our Creator.

    Political musings over 🙂 Would like to add, from my own personal experience, that the transition from the workforce to the home, can in and of itself be quite a challenge. After i transitioned, I had a very difficult time, NOT because I missed working (at ALL!), but because I was trying to run the household like a business! I had made the physical transition, but the mental one was tougher. It was exhausting never being able to “clock out,” and nothing was more frustrating than my “employees” (kids) being “insubordinate.” lol. I spent all my energy trying not to fail, instead of trying to succeed. I reacted (frantically) instead of pro-acting. I literally had to totally shift my mindset, and it basically took God Himself back-handing me upside the head in order for this to happen. I now view my current full time job as more of a project than a job, and what a difference that has made!

    Keep up the great posts!


Hey Y'all! My name is Brittany Styron. Sweet Country Roots is a place I hope to encourage, inspire, and bring a chuckle. Grab yourself a cup of coffee and join conversations about marriage, babies, homeschooling, frugal living, good food, and an old fashioned way of thinking.

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