She is strong and influential. Her reach extends beyond the realm of her family as she walks in grace, truth, and honor. Her humble disposition draws others to her words of wisdom. Opinions aren’t worth her precious time. She speaks life into others and always seeks out the good. She has a heart of discernment and uses God’s word as her source, her guide, and her sword.

She has it. The skill of beautiful submission. She sees through the eyes of her Creator as she looks at her husband. He is the appointed leader that she compliments, perfects, and gives life to. She knows her position and she does it well. She is the heart behind her husband. She makes it easy for him to love, protect, and praise her. She sees no need to prove herself because she is confident in who she is in her heavenly Father’s eyes.

She notices the way of women today. They are all at the end of their ropes fighting to be heard, be seen, and be in control. The struggle is so heavy and thick like a wool blanket on a summer day. Her husband gives up and gives in. What is seen as a compromise is really a defeat. It’s the small prick in the big picture plan. The prick continues to ooze until most of the sweetness of the bond is gone.

The freedom comes in the submission. She simply does her role. She respects her husband and always holds him in the highest regard. Respect to a man only helps him become the man God has called him to be. What a pivotal role to have. She sees that and takes action by sitting down, letting him take the spotlight, and holding his hand through it all. What a beautiful power she has to turn a man into a leader. What a privilege to watch and to fully anticipate.

She knows the power behind her submission. She knows the God given order for family and abides by it. She is aware it is for her best interest. The submitting to her husband is not something she takes lightly. It isn’t her obligation but rather her calling. It is her calling to lift him up, cover him in prayer, and bless him all the days of his life.

Let’s take off our angry disposition as we push him to the side to stand in front. Instead… Let’s be that soft landing place at the end of the day. Let’s be the first one they want to call with the good news and bad. Let’s be the woman worth protecting and investing time into because we are seen as precious. Let’s make his life worth living. Let’s point him to the Savior. Let’s always aspire to be the woman who understands the power of submission.

Are you encouraged here? Please subscribe and share your thoughts on submission.

Photo credit Pixabay

My heart aches, it’s broken. I’m watching it again. Watching a precious family torn to bits by the devastation of separation and divorce. It never ceases to amaze me how deep and far spread the impact entangles itself. It’s like a cancer multiplying, killing, and bringing dysfunction to a life-giving sacrament.

This is satan’s work at it’s finest. Finding the weak spots and holes then filling it with lies and deceit. He finds his victory in our tears. He is giving a standing ovation every time a door is slammed and names are called. His hands are clapping as children watch and listen from the other room. He chuckles as lives crumble into a heap of all the other mess he has created around the world.

We have to hate it. Hate it all. Hate divorce, all things contributing, and all things promoting. We are in a battlefield.

We have to fight for the beauty. The beauty of struggles, but sticking it out anyway. The beauty of the entwining of imperfect lives in need of a savior. The beauty of sacrifice and unconditional love. The beauty of a promise kept even when times are tough.

We have to love. Love it all. Love the commitment, all things contributing, and all things promoting.

I believe in restoration and healing. This is God’s business. The most impossible situations can rise from the ashes into a spring of love, hope, and determination. I believe in God’s blueprints for life and marriage. I know that when followed, they flourish. I believe it’s all worth it. I believe we must fight and be on guard. I believe we have to stay on our knees asking God to protect our marriage and families.

A wise woman once said, “Make your sweet memories now so they can help carry you through the hard seasons of marriage.”

When times get tough, use the ammunition of your sweetest memories. Let’s always remember the times you both laughed so hard you cried. Remember the day your first baby was placed in your arms. Don’t forget all of the burnt dinners, the walks, and the falling asleep on the couch. Remember how many times the alarm clock would ring until you kicked him to turn it off. Don’t forget the anniversaries, the new house, the endless home projects, the long overdue date nights, the accomplishment of surviving your baby’s first year, the promotions, the answered prayers, the friendships… Make your own list and add to it frequently.

Reflect on your list, fan the flame, love with all your might, and pray like there is no tomorrow.

Have you ever had your heart break as you sat on the sidelines watching? Please subscribe and share what you think!

Photo credit pixabay

Photo courtesy of arztsamui/freedigitalphotos

A marriage. Two souls embedded into one another for eternity. It’s a constant braid being formed, an intertwining of the dreams, expectations, happiness, mess, ideas, insecurities, and love.

Why do we allow our beautiful tapestry of love to become frayed at the ends?

Let’s keep our knots tight. Let’s be intertwined so tight they we can no longer tell who is who, it becomes one. All for the common good.

We must live for the interlacing. Each thinking of the other person’s strand. Don’t be afraid when their life overlaps yours. It’s apart of the process.

Let’s keep it beautiful with the heart ache and scars only adding character along the way. Allow no strand to fall apart.

Keep with it, keep working, keep creating, keep protecting, and live for their strand.

I was in my chiropractor’s office when he asked how old my husband and I were when we got married. I told him we were at the young age of 18 years old. I could sense relief in his voice as he went on to explain the reason he was asking. His oldest son is 2o and his new bride is 17. They were just married last month. He explained how he encouraged his son to wait until he was through with college, but all his son would say was, “Why wait Dad?”  He went on to say that his son and new wife had no idea what they were doing.

I’m sure this sounds crazy, but I truly believe that them not knowing what they are doing is an awesome thing…they shouldn’t know what they are doing. That is the point, to figure it out together.  To fully rely on each other is such a beautiful thing. No strings attached, no remembrance of what single life was like. I believe that God wants His people to marry and bear children.

It is the perfect example and picture of God’s relationship with the church. We often get caught up in the details of when someone is “ready” to get married.  There is no “ready” and there is no “knowing what you’re doing.” It is about relying on God, cleaving to your spouse, making memories, and figuring out all of the fun stuff and the hard stuff.

Our worldly perspective has it all wrong about the criteria one must meet before marriage and what makes it successful. According to custom, I should be between 25 and 28 years old before I marry. This would give me time for my four-year degree, a good year or so to find my dream job, then another five years to aggressively pursue my career and explore who I am.  Once all these are in place, society tells me it’s okay to get married. I am told to have the most expensive wedding you can, after all it’s your day. You’ve worked hard all these years, you deserve it. The common problem here is that it’s all about the individual. (This isn’t all couples. I am making a generalization of the world.)

Take the opposite. This would be looked down upon. Two people brand new to adult hood, just finished high school, living at home, decide to get married. They have no money to their name, no successful career to fall back on, no bank accounts (except an envelope), or time to figure themselves out. They jump in and hold tightly to each other in this new territory. Sink or swim as they figure out a budget, how to cook, how to do laundry, how to get good paying jobs, and how to love each other. The world sees this as ignorant and irresponsible. What God joins together He says is good…end of story…

As my children grow up I don’t ever want to follow the normal trend of how we speak to them about marriage. I want it to be about God’s perfect timing, not ours. I want to teach them to always be ready for the next step God wants them to take in full obedience, even if the rest of the world thinks they are crazy. My husband and I will have their back and watch from afar as they enter into one of the greatest relationships God created.

What about you? Would you want your children to marry young?

photo credit by Pixabay

10 years ago today I was 18 years old.

10 years ago today I was embarking on one of the greatest days of my life.

10 years ago today I was making a commitment to God and my high school sweet heart.

10 years ago today my cares were free and all that mattered was us.

10 years ago today love was about long walks, late night talks, and waking up to see his face.

10 years ago today I was learning how to cook, wash clothes, and fight against the odds.

10 years ago today we were tough because we had made it through the high school years.

10 years ago today our future was full of hope, uncertainty, and excitement.

10 years ago today I walked hand in hand with my mom to the most loving, handsome, and loyal man I had ever known.

Here I am today….

Today I am 28 years old.

Today and every day I renew my commitment to God and to my high school sweetheart.

Today I care a lot and all that still matters is us (plus 4).

Today Love is about sacrifice, letting the other fall in bed, and letting them sleep in.

Today I am learning how to raise a family, to pour my life into all of them, and still fight against the odds.

Today we are tough because we have survived and thrived to make it to this day.

Today our future is full of hope, confidence, and excitement.

Today I still walk hand in hand with the most loving, handsome, and loyal man I have ever known.

I Love you Tim Styron. Thank you for making this the best 10 years of my life!

Real love isn’t at first site. It isn’t flowers. candy, and cards. Love isn’t long uninterrupted conversations staring deeply into each other eyes. Love isn’t for when the bank account looks good and your cutting into your filet mignon with a glass of wine. Love isn’t running in the rain, staying up late dreaming, or amazing getaways.

I’ll take the real love any day…

Real love fills up my car with gas. It let’s me sleep in if the baby has kept me up all night. It lets me fall asleep night after night on the couch with a  gentle reminder to go to bed. Real love holds back your hair when your sick. It holds your hand through tears, stress, hardships and the pregnancy hormones. Real love goes out and works hard for us to give his family the very best. Real love can hold a conversation with you while the phone is ringing and 3 other kids are trying to get your attention. Real love knows instead of steak you just want pancakes for supper:)

Today I am so thankful for what our love has grown to be. Not because it’s Valentines day but because of the everyday reminders of a true love sacrifice.

Love ya babe, Happy Valentines

The newest trend is to WAIT to get married. Even people who find their soul mate are having longer and longer engagements or are putting off engagement until they get closer to that, “Perfect date.” They have in mind to party with family and friends and celebrate their final commitment. My question is, why? I obviously am biased as I got married at 18 years old. Don’t get me wrong, we have had our ups and downs, but by God’s grace are still going strong. In generations past people got married young, it was the norm. Now when you announce a marriage below the age of 25 a lot of people assume your pregnant. I think there is something to say about the divorce rates of generations past compared to now.

Let me clarify. I in no way assume that couples who marry young or soon after meeting are exempt from divorce. Unfortunately we live in a fallen world. I have seen this first hand from my own parents. They married at 18 and had the kind of marriage where divorce never crossed their lips or was even a thought. Then boom, 20 years later my dad fell in temptation and divorce. In his mind, it was the only way out. I am only writing this to shed a light on our reasoning for waiting and if it’s really worth it in the long run.

Ask any couple why they are waiting to get married. The majority will tell you it’s either to finish college, or to save money. Both are good things, but is it worth the expense of not becoming one with the other? People can become to busy making sure that they themselves are successful. They put all their time, energy, and efforts into bringing as much to the table as possible before settling down. The problem with this is that they are building up the self instead of each other. The mentality can quickly become one of his and hers versus this is “ours”.

I’m sure this steps on many toes, but there is something so precious about figuring it out together. If you are blessed enough to find someone fully committed to the Lord then why wait??

God intended on marriage. This is His purpose in order for us to receive many blessings. He says in the Bible where two or three gather in my name, there I am with thee. (Matthew 18:20) If you are following His will then God is the one who joined you together. The proof is in the word… “What God has joined together let no man separate.” We have taken good things such as education and  steady jobs and used them to separate us. We convince and deceive ourselves into thinking we know what is best. How often we forget the sovereignty of God and how it is He who directs our steps. We met the person we are supposed to be with at the right time God ordained. This is rather we are 18 or 50. Will we deny the blessings of God by not making a commitment to that person in order to pursue what we deem more important? Or will we embrace this rarity, commit, and receive abundant blessings?

I’m not saying that God doesn’t bless those who wait for marriage or are single. I’m just saying that His promises are just as real now as they were then. I don’t want to deny God of any plan He has for me. I’m sure there are many reading this who think, “Yeah well I got married to someone who claimed they loved the Lord and they changed. How was that a blessing?” My answer is God’s ways are not our ways. I know of a woman recently who gave her testimony. Her God-fearing husband left her and her three small children to fall back into his past addictions. Her testimony is POWERFUL. Her only job at this point is to obey and love the Lord.  This is all any of us are expected to do. It says in the Bible, “All things work together for good to those that love the Lord.” Although our ideas of good are not always what God’s ideas of good are. He sees the beginning and end whereas we only see the here and now. My mom is also a beautiful project of God’s goodness and mercy. She is now celebrating her 3 year anniversary.

If any one reading this is in love with that person God has prepared for you since the beginning of time. Marry them! Don’t listen to this world that tries to convince you to separate in order to achieve great things. Grab that man as tight as you can and praise God for Him, the faults and all. We never know what tomorrow will bring. Enjoy them, and watch what God does!

Sharing this with: The Prairie Homestead,  A Mama’s story, Raising Arrows, The better Mom, The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, Far Above Rubies, Growing Home, Heavenly Homemakers, Time Warp Wife, Thankful Homemaker, Mamal Diane, Teaching What is Good,  A cat like curiosity, Mom’s the word, conerstone cofessions, A proverbs 31 wife, Some of the best things in life are mistakes, Let this mind be in you, A Wise Woman Builds her home, CSAHM Parenting Linkup, Deep Roots at Home, Graced Simplicity, Raising Homemakers, Women Living Well, Hope in Every Season, Jill’s Home remedies, Little Natural Cottage, Our simple country Life, Raising Mighty Arrows, The Purposeful Mom, Consider the Lillies, Happy and Blessed Home, Homemaker by Choice, Your Thriving Family, My Joy Filled Life. New Life Steward, Hometead simple, Christian Mommy Blogger, Let this Mind Be in You, Heart Reflected

First of all my prayer is that you will all one day find that person God has meant for you to be with, and will be able to experience the rewards within a marriage. The marriage relationship is the most important one between us all. It puts the entire world into existence. When you make the decision to make the vow to God it should be talked of, dreamed of,  prayed over, and held as the highest decision you will ever make. One of the most important qualities to search for when looking for your spouse to marry someone who’s number one passion is to pursue after God. When you find that person the rest falls into place. No, they will never be perfect, but you can trust that God’s hand is on their life and they know it.

To my girls, honor this man you have prayerfully chosen above all others. Talk highly of him to others. Learn to rely on God’s grace to bring the joy in your life, because trust me he is incapable of doing it all, only God can. I know it can be tough but ask God daily to give you a cheerful attitude, because you will set the tone of your home. Make it the place your husband and children never want to leave. When you have those days where the tears fall, and you’ll have them… Go in your room, shut the door, get on your knees, and pray for God’s strength to make it through. He is powerful in your weakness.

To my boy, show the wife that you have prayed over that you honor her above all others. Ask her what is going on through her mind often and prepare yourself to listen. Provide her with security and remind her often of how much she means to you. Stick up for her, be on her side, and encourage her. When you do these things sit back and watch the joy fill her eyes to know her heart is safe with you. Work hard for your family and provide for them. When you start to feel the weight of the world on you shoulders, and you will… Go to your room, shut the door, get on your knees, and pray for God’s strength to make it through. He is powerful in your weakness.

Now for some true honesty, this marriage relationship is amazing , wonderful, and down right hard at times. There is no way around that. Let me tall ya what others will not tell you. Marriage is NOT meant for your happiness. When your unhappy PRAY, when your lonely PRAY, when you don’t think you can do it any more PRAY. He is the only answer. When you come to Him holding up a marriage that you promised for forever to Him He will honor that and bring you whatever it is you are needing.

Forgive them, when they mess up again, forgive them, and then when they mess up again, forgive again. God is the best example of this. Don’t ever speak of the word divorce or seperation in your homes. Don’t provide the way out. Protect your marriage as you would your own life. Whatever is God’s, satan will attempt to break it apart. Fight for it and you will reap the rewards. If you think your children would be better off, they won’t. If you think you would be better off, you won’t.

Another piece of advice is to surround yourself with other families that share your values about marriage, but don’t compare. Trust me, NOBODY has it all together no matter what things look like on the outside. We are all in the same boat and all need JESUS! May you find the person to forever link arms with to go on your crazy roller coaster of a life with. Your dad and I will always be here for you and I pray daily that we can be that influence to give you sweet memories of a hardworking and blessed marriage.

I’m linking this post with:

The Prairie Homestead,  A Mama’s story, Raising Arrows, The better Mom,The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, Far Above Rubies, Growing Home, Heavenly Homemakers,Time Warp Wife, Thankful Homemaker, Mamal Diane, Teaching What is Good,  A cat like curiosity, Mom’s the word, conerstone cofessions, A proverbs 31 wife, Some of the best things in life are mistakes, Let this mind be in you, A Wise Woman Builds her home, CSAHM Parenting Linkup, Deep Roots at Home, Graced Simplicity, Raising Homemakers, Women Living Well, Hope in Every Season, Jill’s Home remedies, Little Natural Cottage, Our simple country Life, Raising Mighty Arrows, The Purposeful Mom, Consider the Lillies, Happy and Blessed Home, Homemaker by Choice, Your Thriving Family, My Joy Filled Life. New Life Steward, Hometead simple, Christian Mommy Blogger, Let this Mind Be in You, Heart Reflected

photo courtesy of piyaphon/freedigitalphotos.net

Relighting the fire in your marriage is no simple feat, but it can be done. Most marriages don’t burnout overnight. They slowly grow dimmer as you add in dirty diapers and sassy children. When you add in loss of sleep you’re hoping to even find the darn candle to even start the process of relighting it! When you have a true desire to turn things around in your marriage that’s when you’ll find your candle. Now you just need to add a little fuel everyday to keep this marriage strong and secure to fight satan who is ready to pounce. Let’s not give him opportunity!

Fuel

Fancy schmancy date night (when you can). We have heard this over and over again. This is not your ordinary date night. It’s true that planning a date night can be quite aggravating with babies at home. Not that it should never be done, but by the time you get a sitter, possibly pay them, then go to dinner it has turned into quite an expense. During the baby making years this isn’t always feasible, especially every week like conventional advice would tell you. Maybe your budget only allows for every other month with coupon in hand? If that’s the case we need to think of ways to refuel within our 4 walls.

Time well spent

Now it can be hard for us to not let the kid’s bedtime turn into our, “Work like crazy to catch up,” time. We had originally set the bedtime to give us time alone. Most nights it’s more time apart completing our projects we had going on through the day. The marriage relationship is so important and should be treated as such. An occasional movie is fine but quality time doesn’t need to require sitting in front of the television set. We like to sit on the porch. It helps keep our mind off things going on inside and lets us simply talk with no interruptions and fresh air.

Remember at the beginning of your marriage how you talked and dreamed of the future. Those conversations are sweet memories that can add fuel. Let’s dream again with our husbands. Let’s put in the effort and our time to time let them know there is nowhere else you’d rather spend it. Our men love our attention.

Talk to God

Prayer and hearing what God says through His word is the best thing for any marriage. This gives you clear vision and focus on why God designed marriage. This is the time when God speaks and leads your family to His ultimate plans. You don’t want to miss this time. Any time of day would work as log as you just do it. This is an area we need to work on. I can’t tell you how many times Tim was praying as we were laying in bed at night and I have fallen asleep waking up just in time to say amen!

Good Kissing

Give that man those good kisses from the past. You know the ones! Give him the kind to where he doesn’t want to leave for work in the mornings. I’m thinking this would  probably be one of those little fire starter logs not just fuel! Let him know that you still find him attractive and that you are in love with him. Our touch and kiss can help him soar through his day. Your passion from the past can help you remember that giddy feeling.

The point is , this time is critical. Our young children are watching, strangers are watching. We want to be an example of a strong marriage. Not the fake ones where you throw on a smile as you walk out the door. But the bond that others see is unshakable. Bring your family closer with your husband by your side and God in the center to fight the devil’s agenda to destroy our families during these precious hectic years of raising our babies.

We aren’t the typical by any means and this is no typical love story. God’s hand has been on us from the very beginning when Tim first spoke to me at my locker in the high school hallway.

We became official couple status a week after turning 16 on New Years Eve. From that moment on we have been inseparable. I feel as though that was when our marriage started minus the certificate to prove it. We were committed 100% to each other beyond silly high school relationships. I’m not kidding y’all… I thought I was grown.

We were in the FFA and horticulture class together. Every spare moment was spent talking, planning, and dreaming of our future, or was spent having the time of our lives. From the beginning, this boy has protected me from the world and honored me above all others. At 16 we started putting any money we earned in an envelope for a ring and a future. It turns out the money we saved at that time kept us afloat during our early years of marriage.

Tim graduated in the year 2003. I was supposed to graduate in 2004 but quit school to get married and start our life together. I know to some this may sound CRAZY, and we were. I did however have a plan. I got my GED from my local community college and started in a nursing program shortly after. The thoughts of wasting time sitting in a classroom another year seemed irresponsible and lazy at this point.

We got engaged with my family all around at my 18th birthday party. The funny thing is we didn’t feel weird or crazy it just felt like the next step to us. Slowly but surely family started getting on board as well. We picked a date for a fall wedding and were excited about where God was taking us.

A month after our engagement the life I thought I had slipped through my fingertips. My dad walked out on my mom, me, and three little sisters. I started questioning my life. The rejection from my dad made me run that much harder to Tim. Once again he was a protector to me as well as to my entire family.

Considering all that had happened we pushed our wedding date up to June 12th, 2004. With scarce financial resources my mom pulled off the most beautiful night a young girl could have ever dreamed of. Arm in arm my mom waked me down the aisle to the boy God made for me, the man to be the father of my children. Together we have walked hand in hand and entered into a commitment of love ordained by God.

Although it has been tough at times we have chosen each and every day to pull together when the world tries to tear us apart. When I haven’t felt like trying I’ve prayed to God that I would. He has been so faithful.

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Here we are 3 kids and 9 years later. As I look back at those innocent years I can see how God was leading us. We followed whole heartily, no questions, no hesitations. To this day I can still feel His presence and know He is leading but for some reason I doubt and hesitate. I’ve been tainted in some ways by the world. As I’ve grown older my mind can get in the way of my heart. My prayer is that Tim and I will live everyday as though we are 18 again and follow our hearts and love like no other.

Sharing this post with The Prairie Homestead,  A Mama’s story, Raising Arrows, The better Mom, The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, Far Above Rubies, Growing Home, Heavenly Homemakers, Time Warp Wife, Thankful Homemaker, Mamal Diane, Teaching What is Good,  A cat like curiosity, Mom’s the word, conerstone cofessions, A proverbs 31 wife, Some of the best things in life are mistakes, Let this mind be in you, A Wise Woman Builds her home, CSAHM Parenting Linkup, Deep Roots at Home, Graced Simplicity, Raising Homemakers, Women Living Well, Hope in Every Season, Jill’s Home remedies, Little Natural Cottage, Our simple country Life, Raising Mighty Arrows, The Purposeful Mom, Consider the Lillies, Happy and Blessed Home, Homemaker by Choice, Your Thriving Family, My Joy Filled Life. New Life Steward, Hometead simple, Christian Mommy Blogger,  Heart Reflected, Mrs. Happy Homemaker, Keeping It Simple, The Life of Faith, The Alabaster Jar, Splashing Glory, The wellspring, Road to 31